In Touch With Humanity

The "human" in human being is what differentiates us from animals. According to the Encarta Dictionary, the adjective "human" means "showing kindness, compassion and approachability. Other words like gentle, warm, caring and charitable can all suffice. This element of our being demands that as sane adults, we should be able to identify and understand other people's emotional states or feelings at all situations. It can also be known as empathy. Apostle Paul emphasized greatly on this when he advised us to always empathize with friends/families/neighbors in their moments of grief, misfortune and revelry. You can look up for the precise message in Romans 12:15-16 and Hebrews 13:3. Now, aside from Christians, this is a generally applicable rule to every human existence, religion and discipline.

As a Mass Communication student back then, I was trained to always embrace the ethics of humanity in the course of my daily duties as a Journalist. I was not to descend to taking "apt" pictures of an accident scene rather than seeking/getting/offering some form of help to susceptible victims. In a similar way, pro bono publico is common in legal profession, marketing, medicine, architecture to provide professional services to indigents.

However, recent phenomena have greatly made me to think over the possibility of the fact that we might have lost all focus on this one distinct human characteristic.

I was on my way back from work sometime last week when I noticed a little fracas between two young men by the road side. At first sight, I dismissed it as a little misunderstanding that would be resolved easily. On a second look, I noticed a number of cheerleaders who were fanning the flames of fight when they could have tried to douse flaring nerves and nipped a fatal outburst in the bud. It was even more horrible that some policemen were present and carelessly replied few pleas to intervene with mantras of "make them kill themselves" . As I dreaded, the fight escalated into a huge menace - more people got involved, the road became the ring, punches were thrown around, weapons were thrown back and forth, there was heavy traffic jam. The throng of entertained arm-folded spectators didn't do more but edged closer to get a better view. Some were recording the "movie"with their phones, to maybe upload it on Facebook later. Like vampires, the smell of gushing blood lured them all the more closer. I was shocked, shocked at the level of people's cruelty and coldness.

At that spot, I was rudely awakened to the reality of the Aluu Four Killing footage, the lack of emotions on some spectators' faces as they audaciously witnessed their fellow human beings being tortured in the most dehumanizing manner. Some mocked while very few cringed.

And a lot more scenarios....

A TV watching mother who yelled "shut up" to her child who wouldn't stop "whining" (according to her) about needing water, a driver who was too impatient to apply the break so that a heavily laden woman under the scorching sun could cross the road, the young man whose eyes were fixed on a heavily pregnant woman standing in a bus, but still wouldn't offer his seat, another young man who scoffed when a lady strutting in her high heels tripped and fell to the ground, two more young men who found the blood stain on the back of a woman's skirt funny, a teenage girl who felt blessed and thanked God when blood trickled down the face of another teenage girl she was fighting with. Yes, I actually witnessed all these happen. These realities and more bothered me greatly and I sought to find out the reason why human beings could be thus cruel and unfeeling towards fellow human beings.

Lack of empathy is basically as a result of bad parenting. Psychologists believe feelings of empathy is innate in humans but its development might be affected by early experience. Therefore childhood (especially within the first five years when 90% of the brain growth takes place) is the critical time for developing empathy. Simple neglect or trauma (which is characterized by failure to cater for a child's physical, psychological, mental and spiritual needs ) at this stage could lead to the child's disconnection between people and pleasure. Undoubtedly, parents can help create a huge difference by helping their kids develop a sense of respect and worth for self and others.

As much as empathy can be learned, it can also be un-learned. Our brains can be desensitized when we constantly feed them with graphic images of horror, devastation or violence to the point where we lose compassion for the people involved. Though the mass media, especially the internet are the greatest inventions in the information transmission, however, they have caused the wane in our feelings of empathy, because...

1. it has generated an unhealthy competition of who can transmit the most gruesome video or picture, the same enthusiasm that could have possibly propelled the paparazzi to take pictures rather than try to rescue accident victims at Princess Diana's accident scene in 1997 and other similar situations.

2. we have lost the natural taste of serenity, and rather overwhelmed continuously with irrelevant distractions from our tellies, phones, computers, Ipads etc. Consequently, our ears and eyes become automatically closed to loved ones' cries for help. How many times have you taken rain checks on an appointment with a friend who had something urgent to discuss because you had to keep up with the Kardashians? How many times have you delayed your kids' dinner with your "just a second"excuse to finish a chat that was as urgent as detangling your Brazilian hair? Perhaps, sometime ago, someone had made for your Blackberry phone because you wouldn't pay full and genuine attention to an actual conversation with him or her.

3. the anonymity of the internet has enabled some of us to be cruel with each other thereby eliminating all traces of empathy and humanity in us. It then means we can condemn, debase, denigrate, and poke fun at other people.

4. "people are more interested in plane crashes than stories of childbirths". Information technology no doubt has fed into this trend by providing the gateway to witness these plane crashes as they happen. Instead of stories that inspire, news is filled with one bomb attack to another, accidents, rape cases and other disasters, doom and gloom.

I am not exempted. Lately, I've grown tired of reading or hearing any more about Boko Haram's genocides and vandalism. I quickly scroll past gory pictures and details of accidents. I've become antagonistic and suspicious towards beggars which has resulted in my reluctance to offer alms. Now, it's easier to scold an about 4 year old beggar to get off the street and go to his mother than dip in my wallet like I normally would have done. I think my feelings are born more out of helplessness and hopelessness than empathy for these people. In my moments of hopelessness, I simply wished I had the power to amend the situations that bad leadership/parenting had created in the first place.

Unfortunately, my wishes can't proffer solid solution to the problem. How can feelings of empathy be instilled, promoted and maintained in people?

At homes, parents can start by creating warm, conducive and safe environment at home, one free of abuse, bitterness, excessive/routine corporal punishments as these can result in fear and aggression in the child. As a parent, you can as well lead by example by showing behaviours of empathy. Children are likely to display compassionate and selfless behaviour if they had seen their parents do the same. Be the person you want your child to become. I recommend you read more here. 

As an adult, pay attention to your feelings next time you come across a link to a graphic video or picture of an accident. Do you feel empathy for the accident victims or do you quickly flick past the video/picture? Ability to identify how you feel is an indication that you're still in touch with yourself and still able to feel compassion for others, adjust your behaviour and form emotional connections with others despite the media's influence on your brain.

This means we have to associate ourselves with other people's unpleasant experiences, no matter how uncomfortable they make us feel, because it is the empathetic thing to do. Failure to do so means that we've lost the essence of our humanity, and in which case we will be needing more advanced psychological help.