The
"human" in human being is what differentiates us from animals.
According to the Encarta Dictionary, the adjective "human" means
"showing kindness, compassion and approachability. Other words like
gentle, warm, caring and charitable can all suffice. This element of our
being demands that as sane adults, we should be able to identify and
understand other people's emotional states or feelings at all situations.
It can also be known as empathy. Apostle Paul emphasized greatly on
this when he advised us to always empathize with
friends/families/neighbors in their moments of grief, misfortune and
revelry. You can look up for the precise message in Romans 12:15-16 and
Hebrews 13:3. Now, aside from Christians, this is a generally applicable
rule to every human existence, religion and discipline.
As
a Mass Communication student back then, I was trained to always embrace
the ethics of humanity in the course of my daily duties as a
Journalist. I was not to descend to taking "apt" pictures of an accident
scene rather than seeking/getting/offering some form of help to
susceptible victims. In a similar way, pro bono publico is common in
legal profession, marketing, medicine, architecture to provide
professional services to indigents.
However,
recent phenomena have greatly made me to think over the possibility of
the fact that we might have lost all focus on this one distinct human
characteristic.
I
was on my way back from work sometime last week when I noticed a little
fracas between two young men by the road side. At first sight, I
dismissed it as a little misunderstanding that would be resolved easily.
On a second look, I noticed a number of cheerleaders who were fanning
the flames of fight when they could have tried to douse flaring nerves
and nipped a fatal outburst in the bud. It was even more horrible that
some policemen were present and carelessly replied few pleas to
intervene with mantras of "make them kill themselves" . As I dreaded,
the fight escalated into a huge menace - more people got involved, the
road became the ring, punches were thrown around, weapons were thrown
back and forth, there was heavy traffic jam. The throng of entertained
arm-folded spectators didn't do more but edged closer to get a better
view. Some were recording the "movie"with their phones, to maybe upload
it on Facebook later. Like vampires, the smell of gushing blood lured
them all the more closer. I was shocked, shocked at the level of
people's cruelty and coldness.
At
that spot, I was rudely awakened to the reality of the Aluu Four
Killing footage, the lack of emotions on some spectators' faces as they
audaciously witnessed their fellow human beings being tortured in the most
dehumanizing manner. Some mocked while very few cringed.
And a lot more scenarios....
A
TV watching mother who yelled "shut up" to her child who wouldn't stop
"whining" (according to her) about needing water, a driver who was too
impatient to apply the break so that a heavily laden woman under the scorching
sun could cross the road, the young man whose eyes were fixed on a
heavily pregnant woman standing in a bus, but still wouldn't offer his
seat, another young man who scoffed when a lady strutting in her high
heels tripped and fell to the ground, two more young men who found the
blood stain on the back of a woman's skirt funny, a teenage girl who
felt blessed and thanked God when blood trickled down the face of
another teenage girl she was fighting with. Yes, I actually witnessed
all these happen. These realities and more bothered me greatly and I
sought to find out the reason why human beings could be thus cruel and
unfeeling towards fellow human beings.
Lack
of empathy is basically as a result of bad parenting. Psychologists
believe feelings of empathy is innate in humans but its development
might be affected by early experience. Therefore childhood (especially
within the first five years when 90% of the brain growth takes place) is
the critical time for developing empathy. Simple neglect or trauma
(which is characterized by failure to cater for a child's physical,
psychological, mental and spiritual needs ) at this stage could lead to
the child's disconnection between people and pleasure. Undoubtedly,
parents can help create a huge difference by helping their kids develop a
sense of respect and worth for self and others.
As
much as empathy can be learned, it can also be un-learned. Our brains
can be desensitized when we constantly feed them with graphic images of
horror, devastation or violence to the point where we lose compassion
for the people involved. Though the mass media, especially the internet
are the greatest inventions in the information transmission, however,
they have caused the wane in our feelings of empathy, because...
1.
it has generated an unhealthy competition of who can transmit the most
gruesome video or picture, the same enthusiasm that could have possibly
propelled the paparazzi to take pictures rather than try to rescue
accident victims at Princess Diana's accident scene in 1997 and other
similar situations.
2.
we have lost the natural taste of serenity, and rather overwhelmed
continuously with irrelevant distractions from our tellies, phones,
computers, Ipads etc. Consequently, our ears and eyes become
automatically closed to loved ones' cries for help. How many times have
you taken rain checks on an appointment with a friend who had something
urgent to discuss because you had to keep up with the Kardashians? How
many times have you delayed your kids' dinner with your "just a
second"excuse to finish a chat that was as urgent as detangling your
Brazilian hair? Perhaps, sometime ago, someone had made for your
Blackberry phone because you wouldn't pay full and genuine attention to an
actual conversation with him or her.
3.
the anonymity of the internet has enabled some of us to be cruel with
each other thereby eliminating all traces of empathy and humanity in us.
It then means we can condemn, debase, denigrate, and poke fun at other
people.
4.
"people are more interested in plane crashes than stories of
childbirths". Information technology no doubt has fed into this trend by
providing the gateway to witness these plane crashes as they happen.
Instead of stories that inspire, news is filled with one bomb attack to
another, accidents, rape cases and other disasters, doom and gloom.
I
am not exempted. Lately, I've grown tired of reading or hearing any
more about Boko Haram's genocides and vandalism. I quickly scroll past
gory pictures and details of accidents. I've become antagonistic and
suspicious towards beggars which has resulted in my reluctance to offer
alms. Now, it's easier to scold an about 4 year old beggar to get off
the street and go to his mother than dip in my wallet like I normally
would have done. I think my feelings are born more out of helplessness
and hopelessness than empathy for these people. In my moments of
hopelessness, I simply wished I had the power to amend the situations
that bad leadership/parenting had created in the first place.
Unfortunately,
my wishes can't proffer solid solution to the problem. How can feelings
of empathy be instilled, promoted and maintained in people?
At
homes, parents can start by creating warm, conducive and safe
environment at home, one free of abuse, bitterness, excessive/routine
corporal punishments as these can result in fear and aggression in the
child. As a parent, you can as well lead by example by showing
behaviours of empathy. Children are likely to display compassionate and
selfless behaviour if they had seen their parents do the same. Be the
person you want your child to become. I recommend you read more here.
As
an adult, pay attention to your feelings next time you come across a
link to a graphic video or picture of an accident. Do you feel empathy
for the accident victims or do you quickly flick past the video/picture?
Ability to identify how you feel is an indication that you're still in
touch with yourself and still able to feel compassion for others, adjust your behaviour and form emotional connections with others
despite the media's influence on your brain.
This
means we have to associate ourselves with other people's unpleasant
experiences, no matter how uncomfortable they make us feel, because it is the empathetic thing to do. Failure to do so
means that we've lost the essence of our humanity, and in which case we
will be needing more advanced psychological help.
