Wishful Thinking

I admire mother's courage and brazenness when they bare their breasts in public to nurse their babies, heedless of the uneasiness it might cause the next person. In my case (as the next person), I feel I'm expected to be normal with the whole display simply because I'm a grown woman with breasts too and a prospective mom. 

Unfortunately it's never been that simple. It's always an awkward position trying to act comfortable and at the same time, appear not to gawk too much. I'm always wondering-- " has my discomfort become obvious from the sudden interest in my phone", "do I reach for the baby's arm stretching out to me in bliss, which will entail looking in the direction of the breast, or should I ignore a baby's friendliness"? No one probably gives a damn how I feel, but these feelings are real.

At a busy bus stop I usually stop to buy fruits from a particular middle-aged woman, who now calls me "customer". I call her customer too. On the pedestrian pathway and with her 6 months old baby perching on her laps oftentimes, she sits by a wheel barrow full of varieties of fruits, each type demarcated by pieces of wood. She has two more children whom at times would run up to her nagging for something and she would quickly try to pacify them with slivers of bread, and they'd leap off in glee to reunite with their playmates at the background. On the other hand, the baby had mama's breast milk to pacify him. Sometimes, she's too much in a hurry to attend to her buyers that she forgets to dress up when her baby is done, and so the breast is left out there.... In that instance, I look around me, and everyone acts normal, but I just want to take to my heels or scream.

I wish some nursing mothers were like my cousin. She disciplined her then 8 months old son to never crave for breast milk out there in public places.

Normally, he'd throw minor tantrums for some other things that he needed. It may be he got bored from being held and just wanted to roam the church premise like the other kids or he finally got thirsty for his Ribena drink. 

During all his fits, unsolicited busybodies were always on the stand by to advocate for the child, "nye ya ala" (breastfeed him), like they understood the child's moods more than his mother. Depending on her disposition and the frequency busybodies pestered her , my cousin may cast them the mind-your-business look or take a jab at them with, "nye ya ala nke gi" (breastfeed him by yourself), which always shrinks them back into their shells.

I'd never know how she was able to get the child to acclimatize to this pattern, despite his fervent addiction to breast milk, which seemed to explode as soon as we have stepped into the privacy of our home.

I remember it was a moment I cherished to observe-- from his impatient pants of anticipation to his distracted gestures of delightfulness like clenching his raised leg, swinging his arms in the air or protesting grunts when you try to pull him away. 

Well, it didn't feel awkward to watch my cousin breastfeed her baby. She's family.... My "customer" and most nursing women I had encountered in the public weren't.

I'll bet that nursing mothers aren't as bothered about my discomfort or composure as I wonder, and that is the admiration that I have for them. It takes enormous love and sacrifice to rise above self-consciousness to supply the needs of their babies. I may probably do that. Lol! Therefore, my intention is not to stage a protest against public breastfeeding, because I appreciate this love, this sacrifice and the importance of breastfeeding, no matter where or how-- its benefits to the child, and the bond it creates between a mother and child.

Bu at the same time, caution is still necessary when in public places. I'm thoughtful enough to try and give mothers some undeserving privacy, offered to hold their bags when they carry out their businesses. Regardless, seeing strangers' breasts makes me uncomfortable. Nursing mothers should also bear this in mind, because it's my space too. Nursing bras have their functions-- whole breasts don't need to be all out there. It's that simple.

On another note:

1. I also wish people will stop eating boiled eggs in public. I once sat beside a man who had too like 5-6 eggs at a sitting. I lost count. It was a long time ago, but I haven't recovered from the smelly experience.

2. I wish people will stop asking for pens in banks. Every time! It makes me wonder, "didn't he know he was going to need a pen to fill the Deposit or Withdrawal slip"? And the worst part is some forget to return my pen.

3. I wish people knew part of phone etiquette is letting the caller drop the call. Whatever reasons someone called for-- to deliver a message, to say hi, to chit-chat-- it all ends when the person has dropped... Wait that out.

4. I wish toothpick hanging down the mouth would be banned. It's not only accident-prone, it gives someone off as uncultured and difficult to be taken seriously.

5. I wish strangers will stop tagging me to pictures they feel might interest me. Chances are they irritate me, especially when comments start rolling in.

6. I wish rubber bands are extinct, so some ladies can go buy real hair bands, like seriously.

Enough about my whines, how have you been?

What do you wish would stop?

Thankful For......

A lot of times, I'm frustrated by the state of affairs in Nigeria:

I'm infuriated by the daily cruelty in the form of extortion being meted out by our police.

Ranked as the 26th in the world in terms of Gross Domestic Product and the largest economy in Africa, I cannot fathom why potholes litter our highways, disrupting our comfort and in worse conditions, posing threats to our safety.

I bemoan the spill of garbage over our gutters and across our streets, and how our habit of emptying garbage containers in flooding gutters and gullies contributes to it.

I cringe at the lack of adequate bunks, well-fitting and fresh bedding in our major hospitals whenever I go visiting.

I am tired of being surcharged every time I need to obtain important documents from virtually every office in the name of PR, or what some of them call "ego fuel" (money for fuel) or "money for lunch", and workers' rude and lackadaisical attitude to work, especially in government departments.

My heart is thick with pity every time I look at our roaming mentally challenged citizens and street side beggars, obviously with no form of welfare.

A lot of other things alarm me-- Ebola, kidnappings,insurgencies, deception, rampant sexual embarrassments, misappropriation of public fund, degradation of our education and so on.

However, today, I take time to rather reflect on the a lot of the awesomely unique things that distinguish us from the rest:

1. Our people-- hardworking, resilient, determined, ambitious and passionate even in the most difficult conditions.

2. Our diverse tribes, languages and popular cultural values:

3. Our colourful traditional outfits that make us stand out at occasions.

4. Our sumptuous, rich foods that have me drooling and licking my fingers every time.

5. Our rich resources-- both human and natural that put us as one of the largest economy in Africa.

6. Our distinguished and notable citizens who have brought great honour to our country.

I choose to celebrate and count all that we have and had, our achievements and endowments, our greatness and uniqueness, our good luck and wealth, because the truth is, no nation, no matter how "great" is without her demons. Nigeria is no exception. We will continue to fight these demons, starting from inherent demons for the sake of a better future for the nation.

Today, my prayer is that God bless Nigeria.

Happy Independence day, friend.