"Let me pay for those", the stranger says with an unmistakable air of confidence that I suspect to be triggered by a sense of obligation. I conclude it's not the first time he's ever said those words.
He instantly reminds me of Ms. Bird in Last Holiday-- misdiagnosed with a terminal illness and told she only has a couple of weeks to live, so she decides to "prepare right" and spend those two weeks lavishly--
at a super-elite hotel and spa in Switzerland, eating sumptuous meals and all.
I imagine if Mr Stranger is dying. Or he is a member of Legion of Mary (on his work of mercy). Or it's always been his prefatory move before he asks for a kidney or calls me his "missing rib". As always, I just suspect he has some motive. Whatever it is, I make up my mind to decline.
I cast a quick look at the checkout clerk for any hint of the scenario, and her eyeballs dart from me to the stranger in what I read as vagueness.
I decide to gauge the situation myself-- glance subtly from the corner of my left eye, notice who Mr. Stranger's focus is on. It's not on the clerk, and it's not on the woman behind him on the queue neither. I break out in warm beads of sweat. Sweats of nervousness and embarrassment.
I hate being the centre of attention, especially when I have to turn down a nice, gentleman's offer. That's probably unheard-of these days, not to mention snobbish. And what if he really has few months to live? Then it would be mean of me to deny a dying man's wish too. I remain adamant.
"Three thousand and seventy five naira", the clerk announces with a hue of laughter playing out softly in her eyes. Obviously my uneasiness amuses her. I automatically start rubbing my forehead in a bid to wipe off sweats that are probably beginning to be more obvious. By now, all my bought items have been registered, and being put away in a carrier bag by an assisting clerk.
I'm still tongue-tied, and haven't directly looked at Mr Stranger, or acknowledged his dangling offer. I fetch for my wallet, pull a face to appear aloof, hoping that my action and expression will make him backpedal, but he still stands waiting for an approval or something. I look up to the clerk to verify the amount again, and I notice Mr Stranger edge closer. "Let me get that", he rephrases. And so I turn to face him for the first time. He is all dapper in a slightly crispy, checkered, short-sleeved shirt on a blue denim jeans. He has both hands in his pants' pockets, and smiles innocently, appearing unaware of my uneasiness. He is a clean and kind man, I conclude.
I bend my head slightly to the right, instantly feel my face beam, and I say for the first time, in compliance quite shocking to me,"Thank you".
I feel my emotions betrayed my nature yet again. I'm usually reluctant to accept charity, and always turned it down with a pleasant smile, (so that I appear less snobbish). My reason is personal, something you may agree with me as well-- lack of trust. I doubt most times that someone can actually want to be nice to me with no ulterior motive. Of course, I realize that I deserve acts of selfless love and kindness, but in a world that is constantly seeking immediate satisfaction at any cost, it's easy to ignore or even forget totally how I deserve to be treated.
I could relate to few occasions in the past when someone had rejected my innocent and kind offers to help them. I could relate to a lot of times people tried to justify why that blind wretched beggar by the roadside was a charade and indeed didn't really deserve alms.
But the truth is no matter how well-off we think we are, we can never get enough of acts of love, and no matter our many reservations, there shouldn't be limits to who, where and when we can extend helping hands. Our world needs it.
Ceding to Mr Stranger's offer, despite my old doubts for once feels right, because it suddenly occurs to me that that act of kindness matters, and is one of the things that makes our world better. At that moment my twisted notion is outshined by a massive hope that true altruism still exists. There are real people in the world who want to help others, and it's only a good thing to let them, and go ahead to pass it on to the next person in many ways-- giving someone a lift, saying hi, waving or smiling at that gateman, adopting a child, leaving the change for the shop cashier...., giving up our spots in the bus for someone, offering to help someone carry her shopping bags, just anything good that basically makes the other person's life better.
Cheers!!!
