Merry Christmas

Pertaining to this blog, I set a personal target to churn out at least 10 posts for this December at a time it seemed my brain was overdosed with myriads of  relishable topics. So far, I have downrightly failed to bring this wish to fruition and I have already ran out of time.

I can't believe it's almost 25th December.

In fact, this year went by so fast that I realized it wasn't just enough to achieve all the activities that I had planned out to embark upon or as a matter of fact come close; driving classes, French tutorials, Golf lessons, culinary lessons, my one week-a-book plan and numerous other maps of goals I don't want to bore you with. However, there will come a day each of them would be topic of subsequent blog posts.

Regardless, it's been a truly remarkable and eventful year. I experienced a lot, the good and the not so good, which all combined to make me a happier, wiser, smarter and better person in toto.

At this juncture, I'd like to specially thank you for each click on the Koko Hill link. I feel sooooo elated knowing that for every single post published, I have audience. I appreciate that immensely.

Whether you're traveling to see family and friends or wallowing in the solitary confinement like I would be doing, I wish you a safe and fabulous holiday season.

Kisses, Hugs, Merry Christmas!!!!

No, It's Not a Curse To Be Single

  To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is well for them to remain single as I do"- 1 Corinthians 7:8

What is wrong with you? Are you possessed? Is it fear of commitment?

If you're a single woman and within the "marriageable age" (supposedly between the ages of 25 and 40), you've probably been hassled with the above questions either by family members/friends/neighbours. Perhaps you've encountered the "kind" ones who are ever generous with their sympathetic/encouraging words of "oh, don't worry, there's someone out there for you, keep praying" or the meddler who suggests exorcism as you may be possessed by some spiritual husband (rolls eyes), and just in case it's that difficult for you to find someone, there's the benevolent matchmaker who tries to hookup you up with every tom, harry and dick.

Undoubtedly, there is palpable societal prejudices/pressures/expectations on single women to get married or be in a relationship (at least) at a certain point in time, otherwise be labelled as "not okay".

A new study (in the US) reviews the societal and familial challenges single women face when they reach their mid-30s, and the researchers found out that although the number of single women has increased, the stigma associated with being single at that age has not diminished. Regardless of the difference in the cultural and geographical nature of the study, the issue is also applicable to the ordeals of the single woman in our world.

The list is endless; there is the low self-esteemed man on Facebook who tries to deride your standards in some sorry list that basically urges you to compromise on your standards and settle for less, there's the monkey on your Blackberry contact who banters incessantly about how many more Saturdays left before 2013 runs out, and so forth.

And so, many of us start believing that something is actually wrong with us because we're still not married at a certain age, and as a result, we start accepting and internalizing other people's issues, thereby compromising on our own standards in the process in other to meet the expectations of others.

And what happens?

"I don't have a choice, I'll manage", "Quitting and going back to being single now that he has finally (after series of depreciating herself probably ) agreed to fix a date is not an option", were some of the unending cogitations of a friend of mine who is in an abusive relationship, and yet some people think single ladies need exorcism. Misplaced priorities if you ask me. I told her it's not okay to be in an unhealthy relationship just to evade being lonely or single. She retorted with, "you will not understand". I was flabbergasted and at the same time felt a strong urge to thump her head. Yes! Like my friend, a lot of us lose faith in God and start settling for less than we deserve. Some get into abusive/traumatizing relationships/marriages, while some would rather remain in unproductive/futile relationship because they are scared of loneliness and wouldn't want to be branded single and searching.

Well, to you single woman who's already started to feel there's something wrong with her, snap out of it, because there is nothing wrong with you. IT IS NOT A CURSE TO BE SINGLE (yes, I'm yelling, if that is the way to get it registered in your head)!!! And to the unperturbed sister who has chosen that she wants to settle down and not settle in spite of societal expectancies, the confident woman who feels the person in the mirror deserves the best, or the lady who believes she doesn't have to boost or validate herself by being with just any man, I applaud you.

As a single woman, don't yield to the demands of others, the desire to be cured of your spinsterhood (it's not a disease) or the quest to join the clique of your married friends  to pair off with a random man. In the words of Susan Pease, "the world doesn't need more married people, the world needs more happy people".

Evident in this wise adage is the reality that relationships is not a guarantee to contentment or bliss. At the risk of appearing judgmental (which is absolutely not the case), it is a fact that many married people are lonely and unhappy, yet we are not barraged with write-ups about how they should work on getting divorced.

While you pray and wait on God to order your steps to the right person, embrace your singleness, and love every morsel of your status.

What else can we do?

We can focus on discovering ourselves and what we're about. There's no other time that provides us the opportunity to learn about who we are, our likes and dislikes, values, what makes us happy, our life expectations, some aspects of our lives we consider uncompromisable, as doing so guarantees that we don't lose ourselves in relationships.

We can enjoy our freedom while it lasts, freedom from family and marital obligations, a la financial responsibilities, safety, personal and academical future of another person. Buy whatever you want to buy (so far you don't get in debt), eat what you want to (so far it's healthy), travel and live the way that interests you (here's also hoping your way is safe and right : D ). I know it sounds narcissistic, but think about it objectively. There's no better time to be selfish than when you're single.

We can dedicate our time to serve God and mankind, as advocated by St Paul to the Corinthians like I quoted above all. Having lived that life himself, Paul realized that being single availed him more time to pray and serve God through service (in addition to preaching the word) to fellow Christians. This is where we sacrifice our unrestricted time to offer community/charitable/philanthropic services to help better other people's lives.

The list continues.... Tap into your own self and discover all the potentials that you can utilize while single. Be happy because being single is a good thing.

:-D

African Queen - Truly Timeless

 A great song should lift your heart, warm the soul and make you feel good - Colbie Cail

I don't blame Annie Macaulay.

I don't blame her for saying 'I do' to Nigeria's most renowned ladies' man, a man who already had kids with other women, well including herself.

As the African Queen tune infiltrated the entire air of the vehicle in a ride to work this morning, I had ripples of goose-pimples rush through my body. Unquestionably, I felt pangs of rigors which caused my teeth to rattle uncontrollably. But then, it was a very chilly morning, and part of these sensations might have been in reaction to the weather. My fascination with the song no doubt contributed to them.

As I sang along quite loudly and above the singer himself (at that moment totally oblivious of the breezy and chilly hands of harmattan), I thought to myself, on account of this mesmerizing masterpiece alone, I'd most likely do the same.

In profound admiration of his Nigerian sweetheart in particular, the lyrics as well as the video also depict the magnificence of the African women in general. The flicks of three gorgeous ladies fully clad in various African maiden regalia and the succinct summary of the entire lyrics in the concluding "so black, so beautiful...I love you" further epitomize this adoration. Devoid of any auto tune embellishments, Tuface soulfully poured forth his emotions to the lady he finally married, predictably so.

Federick Delius said it best, "music is an outburst of the soul". I couldn't help being taken by the depth of Tuface's natural expression of innocence, respect and satisfaction that blended so perfectly with the lyrics, which could have bedazzled Annie. I speak for her because I was also swept off my feet. :D

The African Queen track is not novel to me. I listened to it for the first time in the year 2006 on its release and exclusively praised it to high heavens. Seven years later and the song hasn't lost a bit of its freshness and appeal.

YES!

1. I still believe the song is second to none all over the world.

2. I still believe Tuface is the best thing that happened to Nigeria's modern music industry.

3. I still believe the bald girl stole the show.

4. Annie shouldn't have worn weave for that video.

5. I still want to slide along to African Queen on my wedding day and every anniversary :D

6. I just discovered an alternative ringing tone if and when I'm fed up with 'Mimi Na Wewe'. African Queen.

In the spirit of Christmas

Ever since I was a child, the month of December has always been the most cherished and eventful of all the other eleven months for double reasons, festivity of my birthday on the 14th and the Yuletide.

Funnily enough, even though there was no cake thickly and artistically plastered with icing sugar most times (most kid back then preferred it to the real cake ), there was always a remarkable show of affection radiating from every corner of home. First was my mother who incessantly snuck up on me in the wee hours just so she could be the first person to sing the typical "Happy Birthday" tune, which she always sang in an opera simulated voice. I found that annoying sometimes. Secondly, during the entire day, I was exempted from all house chores, and received extra piece of meat for "providing everyone with the meal and drinks", as my father would put it, even though I didn't contribute a dime. I was always contented.

Christmas and all the frenzy that comes with it follow. Every kid was obsessed by holiday in the village more than gifts from their parents; the visits to the stream, unrestricted wander on sinking sands, tree climbing,  social visits (parents didn't expect to be informed about), fruit gathering, screams of "d'eje" (my local dialect for welcome) repeatedly to every wine-tapper and woman laden with bundles of firewood/basketful of vegetables/cocoyam/palm fruits/cassava until they're exhausted from responding, the smell of a goat's fleece as flames peeled it, the marvelous sight of it all, roasting corns by the fireside, cocoyam cum palm oil feasts, scaring ourselves to pangs of panic with mysterious folk tales at nights, money-spinning home to home cultural dance displays, and so on. Some momentous experiences just weren't exchangeable with material goods. Or maybe it was just us.

It was the period to curry favour with parents and to try as much as possible to stay in their good books. It was the time the normally truant sibling answered the door and served lunch, while the grudging one proffered to polish obviously clean shoes. We employed every manipulative tool to have our parents fall for our cajolery. If they were considerate enough to tell us what we wanted to hear and save us from all the anxiety sooner than later (later was always the case), we would run off gloating to our mates who weren't as lucky.

However, times change.

As an adult, the euphoria waned greatly save for birthday anticipations. The sensational tradition stayed put.

I became more aware of the vulnerability of my hair and skin to the Harmattan, the feeling of hollowness created by the invasion of my coziness by the furious-whistling wind, the desperation of having to say goodbye to rain, more concernedly, the planned inflation in the prices of goods/services and the rampancy of crimes in this time of the year.

I can revel in the magical belatedness of Harmattan as long as it lasts, but day in day out, we're awakened to one gruesome story of ritual killing to that of kidnapping. We start receiving admonitions from loved ones about plying certain routes, responding to queer individuals, keeping late nights, being attentive of shady cabs/buses. "This is Christmas o", they'd usually wrap up their sermons with.

I have never received as much warnings in a year than I have these past few days.

And then, there are price rises in the cost of goods and services. It became a course of action for me to abstain from shopping on Christmas periods because;

a. I loiter from stall to stall fraught with options and indecision about what to pay for. This is always bound to happen most times because my Christmas shopping aren't necessarily prompted by needs, but just for the hell of it.

b. I still end up paying a great deal for impractical items.

c. I finally realize I CANNOT put up with traders' cheekiness and overconfidence (especially in markets) anymore. Most of them are allergic to price haggling.

A lot of times, I ask why. Why are people more criminal minded and mean spirited at this time? And as usual, I always get the "this is Christmas" reply, a misconception that makes me sick to the teeth.

It saddens me that Christmas has become so inversely over-hyped that its significance has vanished beneath these acts of dishonesty and greediness.

Christmas epitomizes generosity, kindness, love, charity, humanity and mercy as demonstrated by God by giving us His only and beloved son Jesus Christ for the salvation of mankind.Therefore we ought to reflect all that Christ stands for; patience with one another everywhere ( on the road, in the mall, at home), contentment and gratitude for our many blessings (letting go of the attachment to have everything ), forgiveness for all wrongs inflicted on us, reconnection with family (far and near) and friends. This is Christmas.

In addition to striving to practice the above sermon this Christmas, I'll utilize the uninterrupted power supply (generally during the season) and watch lots of good movies (something that has become a luxury lately), savor the tranquility that follows the exodus of city dwellers to the rural areas (moments to stroll comfortably in the middle of the road), eeeeeeeeeat, watch some EPL actions while I sip on all the 'sipables' and then eat some more.

Do you already have plans  for the Yuletide? What are they?

On Governor Oshiomole's "go and die" Gaffe

 

Amongst the many things I try not to pay attention to ( following sanctimonious preachers and bribe-accepting police officers) Nigerian politics ranks highly.

Time and again, Nigerian's political affairs have been bridled by poor, even malignant leaders who perceive power as existing for its own sake, rather than for the people's general well-being. There is the greedy kleptomaniac who siphons as much national capital as he can amass into private accounts shamelessly scattered hither and yon, the military-ordained tyrant who is ignorant of the basic human rights and ever ready to mete out inhuman sanctions on innocent individuals, the arrogant persona who is above being flawed, so refuses to accept responsibility for the  regressive state of the country's affairs.

Their administrations (or rather dictatorship) are marred by poor infrastructural facilities, poverty, crime, corruption, poor health and educational standards, doctored religious and ethnic clashes, general insecurity and unemployment. The list is endless, but then I need to take a chill pill now to douse the flame already brewing in my intestines.

Sometime ago, during the then trending Taraba crises, my friend expressed his disappointment over my conspicuous ignorance of an incident that was the topic of every media discourse. Of course, I should have known, but I preferred not to.

The reason for my apathy is not far-fetched. Our so called leaders are bunch of power-drunk people who are only engrossed in maintaining their existence rather than that of the people, interested only in assuming the seats of power rather than the obligations that come with it. It saddens me. Since it's not my intention to become slimmer than I already am, I chose the path of ignorance. "Not knowing is better than knowing and worrying", I told him.

The peak of my apoliticalism was post 2011 elections that saw the then interim President Goodluck Jonathan emerge the winner.

I seethed with Congress for Progressive Change party about the gross election malpractices employed by the People's Democratic Party, which thwarted Buhari's 2011 presidential aspiration. Unfortunately, my voice was gobbled down in the boisterousness of the majority. Many people taught I was stupid and gave me similar looks reminiscent of the ones I received  during the 2006 World Cup final between Italy and France. "Everyone but you is TeamFrance", "What is wrong with you"? They questioned in perplexity and helplessness to my hysteric post match revelry. I could tell a lot of them were tempted to fling me out the window.

However, the political scandal trailing Adams Oshiomole, brought me out of my shell. I watched the video which has generated enormous amount of criticisms against the governor, majority tagging the governor's manner of approach as disgusting and wicked.

Normally, sentimental stories as this would stimulate me to join the castigators bandwagon. Surprisingly, that didn't happen. Instead I chose to cut him some slacks.

I haven't forgotten the gallant hero that undauntedly challenged the arbitrary government of President Olusegun Obasanjo in 2004. I haven't forgotten the Adams Oshiomole led National Labour Congress that stood as the only plausible opposition then that battled to uphold democracy, dialogue, that will improve the well-being of millions of Nigeria. I haven't forgotten the man who didn't yield to forceful arrest, teargas and other means employed by the manipulated security services to deter him from disputing the pump price increment by the Federal government. I haven't forgotten how the nation united to sing his eulogy. I haven't forgotten how that single patriotic act garnered massive popularity that earned him a landslide victory in the Edo state gubernatorial election in 2012 under Action Congress.

Apparently, all these were forgotten as many took to the social media and generated 101 reasons why Oshiomole was the meanest man ever to walk the face of the earth. Trust propagandists, a la People's Democratic Party to capitalize on the issue to selfishly and maliciously foster their political ambitions. "This is one of the reasons All Progress Congress Party is anti-people, tyrannical, violent, unpatriotic and therefore the most "inelectable" political party in Nigeria", PDP slammed. LOL! I choose to refrain from writing a litany of the tragedy of Nigeria under the horrendous leadership of PDP. A kettle should never call the pot black.

After my efforts at sanitizing my neighbourhood, I discovered someone still ditched a bag of junk at a particular spot that I spent a greater time cleaning up. "Ndi Ekwensu" (Igbo language for evil ones), I fumed when I saw it. A little while later, I regretted my utterance. Like me, the governor showed remorse, apologized and explained he acted out of anger. He was quoted as saying, ".... but sometimes you get angry when people compromise your efforts”. He said it all. We all say things we don't mean when angry, especially when others demonstrate little or no regard for our cherished projects.  Governor Oshiomole is not an exception here.

Like majority of every (sane) human beings, the governor made a mistake, and most importantly tendered a modest apology.

However, my bone of contention with him is playing to the gallery by offering the sum of N2, 000, 000 (two million naira) to the lady, otherwise I can't think of any other reason he was that outrageous. Whatever the case may be, he sacrificed appropriateness on the alter of damned politics in a bid to outdo his party's rivalry. Unfortunately, that's the move a lot of people applauded. Materialism. Isn't that one of the major problems we face as a nation, among our leaders, among us?

This is one of such issues folks blew out of proportion.

Dignity of Labour

 No race can prosper till it learns that there is as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem". - Booker T. Washington
 

Not too long ago, my neighbourhood had assumed a state of shabbiness which resulted from successive iilicit refuse disposal by some defiant and anonymous people.

Unfortunately, we've had this problem from way back since the designated garbage  bins for my neighbourhood were relocated to a new spot virtually inaccessible. A development we discovered was born more out the labourers' selfish intentions for less demanding waste discarding process than their "to enable us serve you better"trickery.

I personally don't see how having to haul some putrid sack of maggoty and mossy rubbish for about one kilometer (this is an assumption since I have never been able to determine distance measurements or any measurement for that matter) adds up to "serving me better".

Serving me better was once upon a time (as fantastic as this reality seems now) when garbage truck drove from block to block, while some jolly good labourers picked up full knotted bags of trash in exchange of fresh trash bags. But then that was before the inception of the present Enugu State Waste Management Agency (ESWAMA) in 2004, set up to replace the defunct Enugu State Environmental Protection Agency (ENSEPA) which was ludicrously said to have "failed to meet the challenges of modern day waste management.

Anyway, I seethe and digress.

Not necessarily in adherence to the endorsed and customary last Saturday environmental sanitation activities, I eagerly and singly took to sanitizing our environment yesterday.

With a rake in red gloved hands, a backup hoe, broom and matchet, protectively clad in a red T-shirt over a thick pair of gray coloured leggings and black boots with a multi-coloured scarf firmly secured on my head, I scraped the earth, excavated buried waste, pulled them altogether into a heap, cleared through some shrubs that harboured more scraps and assembled them in trash bags that tallied up to about twenty.

It was hectic.

My body still feels crushed.

Regardless of the magnitude of the effort I invested yesterday and the acute muscle sprain I feel now, it was an exercise that awarded me so much pride and joy every second of its accomplishment, not just from compliments I wished would stop but also from sheer satisfaction to have achieved something every other person failed to notice or ignored.

If I have to, I'll do it again.

Here are stuffs that I learnt from my "purifying" experience

1. I'll never look at scavengers the same way again. From someone who would totally carry out the same labour for free, I sincerely respect their noble occupation.

2. No matter what it is you and I do for a living, every work is dignified, respectable and important. Let's all learn to be civil towards conductors, our drivers, nannies, cooks, security guards, all those people we are foolish and misguided enough to deem as "below our cadre".

3. There is nothing wrong in the nature of any work. It's important how you look at it and do it. A dignified work becomes undignified if it is done in the wrong and unfair means. A so-called undignified work becomes dignified if it is done in a decent manner and by honest means.

4. You should not suffer from any form of inferiority complex from your job. Instead, have a devotion to work and have faith in the sacredness of the work that you do.

5. My effeciency in the use of tools generating a surprising passion for Agriculture, something I was literally forced to do in secondary school.

6. The Igbo adage that says "agbasia egwu, o na n'ukwu", (metaphorically translated to mean "the inevitability of the consequences of our actions") finally makes sebse to me. It's become laborious carrying out simple activities like walking, eating, stretching, sitting. Squatting or bending is highly improbable.

And that's it.

Wish all the best this week.