Flashbacks And Forward In Time

I've come across many new year resolutions that basically bordered on individuals' vows to explore different perspectives, adopt new strategies which are intended to lead to goal actualizations and/or character improvement.  Though I consider it a noble and modest move in the right direction, I wasn't particularly swung towards that trend this year. This is because I figured that the change that I need is required constantly at every point of my existence, and that the rapidity this need arises necessitates that I ascertain core values that simplify adjustments to the demands of these changes.

As a Sagittarian, I'm supposed to be  adventurous, but, in reality I'm averse to change-- intimidated by any idea that I feel invades the "beautiful" and "safe" walls that I have built around me. Contrarily, within my walls are no rooms for mediocrity or imperfections, and so I strive to surmount selfish and fruitless "conveniences" to achieve what I need to achieve. 

I've learned to multitask effectively around the time it seemed some of my responsibilities at home and work were suffering. I finally started using ATM cards. I mastered how to tie "gele". I dropped my English name, started prepping my very long hair for the big chop (story for another day), and so on. I changed. I'm changing.

I tried new things-- ate virtually all the pies baked at Chitis. Apple pie was my least favourite. Steak and Kidney pie tasted the best. About a month after my pie adventure, I ate a whole watermelon to make reparations for the junk food guilt that mulled over my conscience, but chocolate remains my guilty pleasure, plus, of course, new found steak and kidney pie.

I finally started driving the car that I acquired two years ago-- after two weeks of driving lessons. I was too careful not to  hit any vehicle or dent mine, as everyone had predicted. Everything went on well, until a "Keke" got in my way and proved everyone right, followed by a mini bus, and then a Toyota Camry, and a 911 Mercedez. Now, I would want to think I'm an expert from the way I yell at other drivers about how I think their driving skills suck. My colleague nicknamed me Jane Bond, all in a compliment, I think, because my driving is actually nothing like Jane's male counterpart. At least, my tires don't screech. As hard as driving can be on Nigerian roads, I've learned to be more patient, calm and kind.

On the political scene, the nation has been marred by damaging incidents-- the Boko Haram insurgents that have been responsible for killing innocent Nigerians in terrorist bomb attacks and kidnappings, financial misappropriations, the plunge in the nation's economy indicated by the drop in the price of oil in the international market and the devaluation of Naira, and so on. Nigerians are clamouring for change, and the nation is heated up as February 14th, 2015 presidential election approaches. I plan to sit it out reading a book with a glass of Baileys Irish Cream on the rocks. And that is not to say that I care less, but to gloat about my occassional indulgence. I hope and pray that the better person to anchor us towards the desired change wins in the election.

Even if I end up not voting, one thing that I  appreciate in this election is Nigerians' inclinations towards what they perceive to be right as the basis for their suppositions as opposed to ethnic and religious sentiments, as was mostly the case last election. At that time, for me, it was more than where someone was coming from or what, where and how he worshipped. I was more ambitious. At this point, then, I was already certain about my choice and ran personal campaigns in favour of the then candidate for Congress for Progressive Change, General Mohammadu Buhari, a man whom my admiration for sprang from my father's adulation of him. I heard his story-- what a religious fanatic he was, how he limited development only to his ethnic group, and all that propaganda. Despite all of them, seeing him among the other presidential aspirants in 2011 was a breath of fresh air. I had fate he was our own Moses.

However, I feel different about him this election. My trust waned. I'm certain he's still capable of transforming the country, but I wonder if his aspiration is still born out of patriotism. He's become more desperate than passionate, or why else would he go back on his word at the International Conference Centre in Abuja on April 2011 when he said , "this election is the third and last one for me; since, after it, I will not present myself again for election into the office of the President". The argument is that situations in the nation aggravated. To me, that defence, though with a valid reasoning, is porous, when one considers that APC arguably had better members like Babatunde Fashola, whom would have given the president a run for his money. I hope I'm wrong about General Buhari.

Concerning President Goodluck, I never had faith in him from the onset- I felt he lacked strength of character to lead a complex nation like Nigeria. I still do. As much as I couldn't stand his seeming catarrh infected voice, I finally summoned courage to listen to Mr President during the PDP Presidential/Gubernatorial Campaign in Enugu, and most of his address was spent in mudslinging against General Buhari. I had hoped that he would emphasize mostly on relevant and key issues-- his efforts, progress so far in tackling them. Quality time could have been used to address the disastrous and crucial insurgencies in the North (the one thing every Nigerian is desperate to learn about the government's activities and plans towards curbing it) or to disassociate himself from corrupt  practices that his government is being accused of condoling--  like Mrs Oduah's N225 million scandal, his wife's laundering scandal, missing $20 billion from the country's federation, N10 billion private jet scandal involving Deziani, and countless more. He was rather more comfortable listing the sins of General Buhari. I felt insulted, but justified in my belief that President Jonathan is incompetent.

I find myself in a dilemma. What will be our fate with any of of these two as president? Will there still be a country? 2015 and the years ahead remain a mystery. Surely, we will experience change, but I can't predict whether it's for better or for worse, but I pray the former be the case.

Happy New Year to you <3<3<3